Monday, March 28, 2011

My Alabaster Box

I have no great epiphany to share, nothing profound to share or no great wisdom to impart that is any wiser from any other woman my age who has lived a little- 39 in case you're wondering, soon to be 40. I have my quirks, one of them is picking songs in the morning to inspire not only my day, but sometimes my kids as well. I have discovered to my delight and bafflement that they really have taken it in and soaked it up. My son (13) is way more into Public Enemy and A Tribe Called Quest than any modern "artist". We like to call him Little Malcolm now cause - yeah- it REALLY rubs off. I drive them to school, the trip takes about an hour and a half. Long way to go we have our reasons and it is working well thus far for them. They are testing this week, so seeing as how they go to a Christian school, I decided gospel to encourage and inspire and pray as they head off for yearly testing that will go on permanent records for people with no clue as to their real potential can judge them. Sucks, but such is life. As usual they were asleep before thirty minutes had passed, but I kept it going, just in case, One never knows what we soak up in our sleep. I know the first chapter of James got me through boot camp so it couldn't hurt.

That's when it came on. A song I forgotten was on the mixed CD I had made. The tears came as I listened, undisturbed by the kids, by traffic, by anything, and for just a moment it was all laid bare. My pain, my joy, my triumphs, my failures. As Cece sang "You weren't there the night He found me.
You did not feel what I felt when he wrapped his love all around me and you don't know the cost of the oil in my alabaster box", all of the things I had buried and hidden deep in the darkest corners of my past came tumbling out. I felt the price of every wrinkle, every gray hair I have thus managed to hide reasonably well, all the wrong turns, the bumps in the road, and most of all the burdens I took on that I didn't have to was right there.

I know the costs, and I have paid them. In some ways I will keep paying them for a while. But you know what? It has brought me to the here and now. I'm not the frightened little girl with stars in her eyes I once was. I'm not the person who lost herself so busy trying to be the perfect wife and mother. I met myself again on the road today. Nothing has changed, no great insight has come to me. I just accepted me and the price I have paid to find the me I lost for a moment. There is no Prince coming to save me, but I don't need one. God has given me all the tools I need to save me. No earth shattering miracle may happen between now and my final rest, but I have had miracles along the way. I may not be where I could've been, but I learned what I needed to learn, and I am learning still. More than anything though  I realize the costs of the oil in my alabaster box.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Coming Soon!!!! A is for....

Claiming Sydney

Having promised her best-friend that she’d attend her 30th birthday party, Sydney Greene is off to the outskirts of Venezuela, a place where a year ago, she’d learned to release her inhibitions and had engaged in an illicit two-week affair with a gorgeous Spaniard, Fabian Acosta.
Fabian had spent two glorious weeks with the illustrious, Sydney Greene a year ago, with a promise from Sydney to continue their relationship she returned to the states. Unfortunately, that never happened. Now taken matters into his own hands, and with the help of his sister’s husband, he’s gotten Sydney back on his territory and this time, he’s playing for keeps.

Love’s Bloom
When Stella Milton went on vacation she wanted warm sand, clear beaches, and fruity alcoholic beverages with little umbrellas. Now if said beverages were served by hot men sans shirt, oiled up and...well she just wanted the dream vacation. Unfortunately, her dream was currently a nightmare as she trekked through the Amazon Jungle avoiding wayward foliage, carnivorous spiders, and the very delectable Cisco Marquez.

Cisco Marquez finally had Stella where he wanted her, by his side. Granted he had to trick and trap. well that sounded a bit illegal, entice and cajole her on a hike through the Amazon Jungle to do it. Now if he could get her to see a vacation is only as good as the people you get to spend it with, mainly him, everything would be perfect.

A Wild Heart

Dr. Rashawna Reese let down her guard once before to her fellow research scientist, Dr. Javier Martinez, and she vowed she'd never lose control again. She had a career to think about and sleeping with a co-worker threatened her status like a rainforest thunderstorm.

For Javier, the trip to the Amazon Rainforest marks a dream come true, but coupled with Rashawna it's heaven. Sure, they will hike deep into the rainforest and confront all the unknowns it has to offer. But for Javier, there's only one thing for certain he needed to know for sure. How to tame Rashawna's wild heart.

Lost & Found

It was all the monkeys fault. Kara was minding her own business, sort of paying attention to their Amazon guide, when the furry little beasts decided she would make an excellent target for their fruit missiles. Convinced they were leading her somewhere, she followed. Mistake number one. Okay, so wandering in the rain forest wasn’t such a good idea. But really who could blame her for thinking she’d died of some unknown disease while lost and alone in one of the world’s most dangerous habitats. And when you died, didn’t you get a gorgeous angel type to escort you to heaven? Mistake number two.  But what happened next was anything but a mistake.